What does true love look like?

It’s that time of year…when everyone’s thinking about love! Valentine’s Day is today, and you certainly see evidence of that in stores everywhere.

But flowers and candy have little to do with real love. Sure, they are nice to receive as a show of affection – and yet, it often leaves the receiver yearning for something more.

I think this something more that we crave is true connection. That connection can be with a spouse, romantic partner, friend, or family, and you’ll know when it happens by how you feel.

Last week, I was having a Skype conversation with a couple of coaching friends. We all have busy lives and live in different places, so we make a point of catching up once a month on a video call.

It’s a special friendship and a unique bond. We’ve known that for awhile. But last week, it went to a whole new level that none of us saw coming!

Being life coaches, we are very supportive of each other- AND we also call each other out on our bs (excuses and such).

During our call, one of us (unknowingly) said something that triggered a shameful response in another. The conversation went on…until she had the courage to say “Hey, when you said that, this is how I felt.”, and it was discussed in an open, honest, caring manner.

Neither comment was meant to make the other person feel bad, and that was (silently) understood between all of us. The third person said they watched in awe as a space was created for the two to share this dialogue.

It was extremely touching for all of us and a pivotal moment in our friendship. Miles apart, we felt so close to each other.

This is how growth occurs. Communicating how you feel and what you need without blaming the other person…without expecting them to be able to change anything…all the while knowing that they want the best for you.

Having someone hold a vision for you that you cannot yet see for yourself, this is the essence of love. The three of us like to call it Higher Love.

It exists beyond all ideas of who we are, who we should be, what we’ve done, mistakes we’ve made, achievements not yet fulfilled, accomplishments gone unrecognized – through everything ‘good’ and ‘bad’ about our lives.

Higher Love exists in all of us because that’s what we are. Although many of us never dare to be vulnerable enough to experience it in human form.

But for those who do, I promise you, you will not regret it…as there is nothing like it!

“Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine.” ~Steve Winwood~

 

 

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