Remember who you really are, and do what you want

“There’s still time. Close your eyes. Only love will guide you home. Tear down the walls and free your soul.”  -What You Want (Evanescence) I have been doing something lately that I don’t like. I’m not judging myself, just noticing and being accountable. I have been “shoulding” on a lot of people, including me! What is “shoulding” you ask? You know it; you’ve no doubt done it and had it done to you. It looks like this: “My husband ‘should’ change the light bulb like I asked him to do earlier.” “My coworkers ‘should’ spend more time working and less time goofing around.” “That driver ‘shouldn’t’ have cut me off!” “I ‘shouldn’t’ eat that piece of cake because I’m already over my ideal weight.” (Actually, in the last example, I’m guessing you are more than likely calling yourself fat, disgusting or something worse.)< The list of what we think people (including ourselves) should and shouldn’t do is endless.  It’s one of the ways we knock ourselves out of the present moment (and our own reality) and start playing the blaming/shaming game. When we should on ourselves, it takes a huge toll on our self-esteem. When we should on others, we presume that we know how they can best live their lives and that our way of doing things is right. In both cases, we are not taking responsibility for our choices, and in the process, give our power away. “Don’t bullshit yourself about what you should be doing versus what you really want to be doing.” ~Albert Ellis~ Why do we should on ourselves (and others)? It’s easier to...

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