Travel the world, and find the unexpected: you!

“Rover, wanderer, nomad, vagabond. Call me what you will. But I’ll take my time anywhere. I’m free to speak my mind anywhere. And I’ll never mind anywhere. Anywhere I may roam. Where I lay my head is home.” -Wherever I May Roam (Metallica) Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to travel! I love everything about it! Well, almost everything… If I’m going to be honest, I don’t really enjoy the packing – except that I know it means I’m going somewhere! 😉 I love being in the airport, getting on the plane, ascending above the clouds, flying through the skies, arriving at my destination, heading out to explore, meeting new people, trying new foods – you get the idea. A few years ago I noticed an interesting pattern in my behaviour while on vacation, particularly when I traveled alone (like when I went to Costa Rica by myself on a ‘learn Spanish and do yoga for a week’ trip). I was more relaxed and at ease, less self-conscious, kinder, less judgemental, and more curious. I didn’t feel the need to schedule anything or know how things were going to turn out from day to day. I was able to just wing it and follow whatever my heart desired (i.e. what felt like fun). I was completely present in whatever was happening at the moment; it was pure bliss and freedom! For the first time in a long time, I felt completely alive! I’d get back home and people would comment how great I looked; I felt totally rejuvenated! “When people went on vacation, they shed their home skins, thought they could be a new person.” ~Aimee Friedman~ At first...

Here’s the truth: Self-love isn’t selfish. Ever.

“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe. No matter what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity, because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” –The Greatest Love of All (Whitney Houston) “I want him to be himself – to have the happiest life he can.” my client said, referring to her husband. What did she really want? She wanted him to go out and do things he enjoys with his buddies – so that she wouldn’t feel guilty about getting together with her friends once a week. She wanted  the freedom to be herself and to live her happiest life.  I noticed that she wanted for him what she wanted for herself (but wasn’t doing). It sounded eerily familiar to me. I had experienced this in my own marriage over 10 years ago. It was 2002. My husband and I had just moved to a new province, and I wanted to go out exploring – taking in all that the ‘big city’ we now lived near had to offer. I met a bunch of amazing, fun people through work and was really excited about developing new friendships. Connection with other people is very important to me, and I like being outgoing/social. My ex was content (most of the time) with staying in and watching tv. I started staying...

Hey brilliant girl. You are meant to light up the world!

“Take off all the makeup, girl. Shine your light. Show the world. Don’t be shy. Don’t be scared. You don’t have to hide under there. Let’s throw away all the magazines. Turn off the static on the tv. I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” -Nobody Ever Told You (Carrie Underwood)  I know a lot of really incredibly brilliant women. They are friends, family, and clients. Some of them don’t even know how amazing they are – either because no one ever told them or somewhere along the way they forgot. How does this happen?! Well, we have grown up in a society that constantly worries what other people think, we live in either the past or the future, and we tend to make our decisions based on fear instead of love. The result ends up being conversations which don’t actually communicate what we’re meaning to say. Let me give you an example (between a parent and child): A parent says to their daughter: “Why don’t you try being more like your sister? She’s popular and happy.” The parent thinks they are encouraging their child to follow a behaviour that will bring them more friends (and therefore happiness). What does the child hear? “I’m not good enough or loveable the way I am. It’s not ok to be me.” The child feels misunderstood and like an outcast in their own family which makes it very difficult to believe that anyone else in the world would find them worthy of love. What the parent actually wanted to do was protect their child from disappointment and hurt, but because...

Be willing to let go of who you think you are; become what you want to be.

“Do you ever feel already buried deep? Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing. Do you know that there’s still a chance for you? ‘Cause there’s a spark in you, you just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine. Just own the night like the 4th of July. ‘Cause baby, you’re a firework. Come on, show ‘em what you’re worth.” -Firework (Katy Perry) 2 days ago I did something that I thought I would NEVER do! My friend and I attended the Beachbody Canada launch in Calgary. That in itself is a milestone for me – just attending a big fitness event…say what?! But the real kicker is that I participated in a group work out with Tony Horton– AND I survived! (even when he came around to correct my form -which in a previous life would have caused me to die from embarrassment! (because I was sweaty, and the expert was pointing out my “flaws”). Honestly though, being sweaty showed that I was actually doing the workout and who better to learn from than Tony himself?) Why exactly is this so shocking you might ask? Well, I spent years telling myself that I wasn’t good at sports, that I was uncoordinated, that I would never be fit, that I couldn’t run, that I was fat – and many other negative stories about my body and physical ability. I have a few friends that are runners, and I always loved the idea of running, but could never actually get into doing it consistently. I used to tell myself I was lazy because of that. I would...

On love: start with yourself first, and don’t settle!

“You’ve been here forever, so clear in my mind. I just don’t know where you are. I know I’ll find you, but girl ’til I do, this is my love song for you.” -Drift Off to Dream (Travis Tritt) Yesterday as I was driving to Calgary (heading down to hear Oprah speak!), I had my iPod on shuffle, and the song “Drift Off to Dream” came on. I hadn’t heard this song since the early 90’s probably, and I was actually surprised it was on there. Anyway…I became a bit emotional listening to the lyrics. It just really resonated with me. I guess because I know my “big love” is out there somewhere, and I am finally ready to meet him! I’ve been single for a while now. I was married for 8 years, and well, now I’m not. (That’s the super short version.) We were both good people. No one did anything wrong. It just wasn’t meant to be more than it was, and I’m ok with that. I know I learned what I needed to from that relationship. I have dated a few people here and there since then, but I just haven’t met the right guy yet. I will admit my dating life post divorce has had some hilarious moments (I am able to say that now looking back.) I had a lot of, shall I call them, “unique” experiences. Honestly, my mother even said I should write a book. I tried online dating. I tried being set up by friends. I tried dating people I’d known for years. I tried dating a guy I met...

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