In life and love, you get what you give

I always say that the reason nuns and monks are so peaceful and blissed out is that they have no one up in their face on the daily stirring up their shit! (Imagine for a moment what your life might look like if you could just spend your days chanting and reading prayers – or if it were me, hiking through the woods, sitting at the beach, listening to music and doing yoga.) However, that’s not the life most of us signed up for. We signed up to be in relationships with others so that ultimately we could learn and grow emotionally and spiritually. But, dang – it’s hard sometimes! You could look at any relationship you’ve had (and I’m not talking just romantic partnerships) – this could be a friendship, marriage, between siblings, with your parents, on a sports team, etc., and I imagine at some point at least one of these people has triggered you. Maybe someone said something you didn’t agree with or they have a different way of doing things than you do, and it drives you crazy! It may even make you feel sad or insecure. No matter the feeling, I can guarantee you, if it’s happening, it’s meant to be teaching you. The best thing you can do in any relationship is to not make assumptions. The mind will try to convince you that you know the answers – that you know how someone else feels and what they are thinking. But you must ask – and listen – to what the other person says. When you get triggered by someone, you have a choice...

Heal your mind; heal your body.

I want to tell you a story from my life about 4 years ago. It was January 2012, and I was in Maui on vacation with friends. One day I woke up and was in quite a bit of pain. My joints hurt – a lot! My ankles were swollen, and I couldn’t lift my arms high enough to tie my bikini top around my neck. I thought I was having a reaction to come antibiotics I was taking. A few days later when I returned home to Canada, I went to the doctor. They ran all sorts of tests and told me “nothing is wrong with you”. For the next 6 months, I endured terrible pain and inflammation in all of my joints. Some days, it hurt so much to walk (to put pressure on my feet). I tried soaking in Epsom salts. I did acupuncture. I did magnetic therapy. I took tinctures from the Naturopath. I spent thousands of dollars trying to cure myself. Then, in June of 2012, I decided to try hypnotherapy. (The session lasted about an hour and cost me only $125.00.) At one point during the session the hypnotherapist asked me to place anything that I needed to let go of in a trunk (the chest/box kind – not the car kind). My ex-husband immediately flashed into my brain. I felt guilty for hurting him. (We had been separated for 7 years, divorced for 6 years by this point in time. He was living in another country, had re-married and was not thinking about me at all I’m sure! Plus, I must mention that...

It’s more than a feeling, my friend

I had a blog nearly completely written the other day, and my computer died before I got to finish and publish it. (It didn’t just needed to be recharged – when I turn it on the screen is black.) So…then I wondered if I should try to rewrite the same post again or write something new. The answer came to me through a question someone asked on my Facebook page. I had made a post on there about the link between feeling your emotions and how it physically impacts your body. I mentioned that we are meant to feel all emotions and that some are best to not hang onto for long (such as anger, grief, or fear). I said that it’s good to feel any emotion fully, to acknowledge it, to find out what it’s trying to tell you, and then let it go. The person who commented said “I’ve read that 100 times and still say sounds good. No /$#&( * idea how to do that!” (I love honest people!) I figured I may as well make my blog post about this subject because I’m guessing the answer could be useful for many people. I really wish this kind of stuff was taught in schools. I remember when I was a kid I used to have temper tantrums (yes, the down on the floor kicking and screaming kind). Thinking back about it now, I wonder what I was so mad about. What was my emotion trying to say? How was I not being heard? Which leads me to one way I find it useful to fully feel an...

“They” are right; less is more! How simplicity = happiness.

“Oh, it’s a mystery to me. We have a greed with which we have agreed. And you think you have to want more than you need. Until you have it all you won’t be free.” -Society (Eddie Vedder) I listened to an amazing interview (featuring two of my fellow life coach friends!) a couple of weeks ago, and during one part they were talking about the concept of hedonic adaptation. This basically means that we get used to good stuff. It’s how that the fuzzy feeling you get from a certain thing starts to subside over time. You know what I’m talking about! Like when you get a new pair of shoes that you “had to have” and within a few weeks you forget that you even own them as they collect dust in your closet. A lot of people get on the hedonic treadmill – constantly searching for the next best thing and hoping to find happiness in tangible things and/or from other people. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy the things that you buy. I really like my books and my juicer for example.  I re-read my books over and over again, and I use my juicer nearly every day. I find a lot of joy in both of these simple things. (I just moved from Alberta back to Nova Scotia and actually packed my juicer in the car in case the moving truck takes too long to get here with the rest of my stuff. That’s how much I love juicing!) What I am saying, however, is that “stuff” won’t make you...

Emotions: the agony of our human experience

“When your day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, when you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on. Don’t let yourself go, ‘cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.”  -Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.)  On the heels of nearly 5 straight weeks of vacation, 2 weeks ago I decided to start the Ultimate Reset (a Beachbody cleanse/detox). I figured it would help combat the less than healthy choices I’d made (in food and alcohol) during my holidays and maybe I’d even shed a few pounds. Perfect! What I didn’t expect was the emotional roller coaster I would experience for the first 5 days. Was it due to the reset itself or the post vacation blues? I can’t say for sure. What I can tell you is that I was crying nearly every day that week. There was nothing “wrong”.  I just felt sad, lonely and overwhelmed. Have you ever experienced the feeling of utter melancholy? I have. I’ve endured more heartache in my life than I want to think about sometimes – bad relationships, the death of my brother, a failed marriage, my Dad passing away, losing my Grampie Bob, and the one which I internalized the most – in my early 30’s, I had a miscarriage. I didn’t tell many people – for a couple of reasons: 1) I had said for so many years that I was never having children that when it happened, I believed I deserved it – that I had gotten what I’d been asking for and 2) I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me.  But the...

Pin It on Pinterest