“Take off all the makeup, girl. Shine your light. Show the world. Don’t be shy. Don’t be scared. You don’t have to hide under there. Let’s throw away all the magazines. Turn off the static on the tv. I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” -Nobody Ever Told You (Carrie Underwood)
I know a lot of really incredibly brilliant women. They are friends, family, and clients. Some of them don’t even know how amazing they are – either because no one ever told them or somewhere along the way they forgot. How does this happen?! Well, we have grown up in a society that constantly worries what other people think, we live in either the past or the future, and we tend to make our decisions based on fear instead of love. The result ends up being conversations which don’t actually communicate what we’re meaning to say. Let me give you an example (between a parent and child):
A parent says to their daughter: “Why don’t you try being more like your sister? She’s popular and happy.” The parent thinks they are encouraging their child to follow a behaviour that will bring them more friends (and therefore happiness). What does the child hear? “I’m not good enough or loveable the way I am. It’s not ok to be me.” The child feels misunderstood and like an outcast in their own family which makes it very difficult to believe that anyone else in the world would find them worthy of love. What the parent actually wanted to do was protect their child from disappointment and hurt, but because they reacted from fear (“my child doesn’t have any friends”, “my child is going to be a loner”), they actually created the exact situation they didn’t want for their child.
“The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.” ~Jim Morrison~
Trust me, I am not picking on parents here. My hat’s off to all of you loving souls who have the hardest job on the planet! My point is that as a life coach I hear people’s painful stories all the time. I hear how even one moment, one comment affected them for the rest of their lives. I hear how they felt like they didn’t belong – even in their own families. I hear how they’ve spent a lifetime trying to get their parents’ approval (which turns into seeking approval from virtually everyone). The self-limiting beliefs people have about themselves hold them back from living the fabulous life they deserve. My job is to help them see what I already know – that they are incredible! So, what do I have to say to them (and to you!)?
Your dream is possible. You don’t have to hide. You don’t have to play small. You don’t have to keep quiet. You don’t have to do things like everyone else. You don’t have to believe your negative thoughts. Your parents never meant to hurt you. It’s time to forgive them and fully live your wonderful life. You are loved more than you’ll ever know. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are funny. You are enough. You are more than enough; you are amazing! You have gifts the world needs, so share your passion. And never apologize for being extraordinary. You were born to shine!
“If you look deep within, you will find a brilliant light. Too many, far too many, squint and turn away from the shine. Let your eyes adjust, and bathe in the radiance.” -unknown