Relationships aren’t here to make us happy!

So… for those of you who don’t know me personally… if there’s a mistake to be made or witnessed in a relationship, I’ve probably done or seen it. Everyone comes to Earth to learn lessons, and mine have often centered around romantic relationships. I feel it’s my duty to share what I’ve learned. First and foremost, as the title suggests, relationships are not here to make us happy! People get into relationships thinking they’ve finally found ‘the one’ (there is no ‘one’ but I’ll get into that later!) and that their life can now really begin… or be more fabulous… or they’ll live happily ever after. This can happen, but it won’t be because of the relationship – it’ll be because of you and your partner… how you show up, how you communicate with each other, how happy you were without them, etc. What your relationship will do is bring up all your shit that needs to be healed! Hence why our partners aren’t here to make us happy; they are here to help us grow. Lean in! If you can navigate your spiritual growth with your partner, life will be very good! Next on the list is: you MUST up your game!!! This means doing your inner work (not figuring out how to be a player). You want a partner who gives you their best and so you must be willing to do the same in return. Plain and simple. Don’t put expectations on someone that you aren’t willing to tackle yourself. And don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader or a magic maker. Take responsibility... read more

We aren’t who people feel that we are

All our lives we deal with people who have a judgement about us: our parents, teachers, friends, strangers, lovers, coworkers, etc. And vice versa. This does not mean however that we are who they believe us to be. Take for example, the guy I worked with in high school who said “You intimidate men.” I could not comprehend why this was- I was just a normal girl from East Gore, NS. But I carried his sentiment with me for years… trying to mould myself to be more palatable to people – not just men but women too. I didn’t want to be too outspoken, too attention seeking, too smart, too beautiful – in short “too much” of anything that would make others feel less than. So, I often stuffed myself into a box that I did not fit. All the hidden parts of me silently dying away inside. Now, this wasn’t all the time because my true self had the knowledge of how amazing it felt to be truly me, and that feeling of freedom could not be tamed forever. But then some man (or woman) would come along and tell me I was too something or not enough something. “You are too demanding” when I would voice my wants in a relationship. “You are too emotional” when I felt like my needs weren’t being met. “You are being unrealistic” when I would state my dreams of winters in a warmer climate. “Men like ____ (a whole list of characteristics that my friend was convinced were the only way to attract a man – most of which I was not)”.... read more

You get what you go after!

It’s ok to want for something more. In your relationship, maybe you want:  *more romance                                                                                            *more love *more sex In your work/career, maybe you want: *more money *more variety *more clients In your leisure time, maybe you want: *more fun *more adventure *more learning I’ve had conversations with 3 different people recently who ‘wanted’ something. Client # 1 wanted a new job. She was afraid to leave the comfortable job she had but immediately looked into what she needed to do to change jobs anyway. (She has now left the old job and gone on to a new opportunity.) Client # 2 wanted to book a session with me but saw no availability on the day she had in mind. She asked me if that day was booked full or if my online scheduler was just showing it as full. (I don’t normally coach on Fridays but when she asked I had nothing going on that day, so I gave her an appointment.) (Potential) Client # 3 wanted to coach with me and was only available 6 hours out of the 168 hour week. (I work part time in customer service and schedule my coaching and Reiki clients around that. I was not available during those 6 hours as it coincided with my part time job. I offered early mornings, afternoons, evenings and weekends... read more

The magic of showing up for yourself

This past weekend,  I hosted a group of women at my place for a workshop on releasing the past and creating your future. I knew some of the people who were coming but I didn’t know all of them. So, it was hard to know how these women might be similar or if they would all be completely different. The bottom line is: it didn’t matter! It never does. We all want the same thing: to be seen, to be heard and to not be judged for being who we are, living the way we do and loving what (or who) we do. And when we can just show up as our authentic (true/real) selves, the magic begins! I watched strangers become acquainted at the beginning of the day…nervous to share their stories and worried about showing their emotions. But by the end of the day, people were exchanging contact information – all in the spirit of supporting each other. They were interested in a follow up get together (a few months down the road) – just to see how everyone is doing. To be a witness to this kind of connection is really quite spectacular! I am pretty sure this is what Earth was created for, and I suspect the angels were watching over our little group and beaming with pride. I know I was. “I do believe in an everyday sort of magic – the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like, the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity, the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we are... read more

New year, new you, new dreams

If you are like me, 2017 wasn’t all you had hoped it would be. Sometimes, it was fabulous and sometimes, not so much. Some days in fact, it may have felt like you were being tossed around on the spin cycle of your washing machine. But… it’s almost over! And we get a whole brand new, shiny, clean slate in 2018! We will have 365 new days to do it differently. And that’s just it – we must do it differently!!! You cannot repeat the same patterns and expect new results. So, I want to share with you something I read from Tosha Silver today… she referred to it as a “great prayer for the end of the year (or end of any big cycle)”. It is very simple: “Please bring me a miracle of completion.” She describes it as “an offering to the Divine that anything the needs to occur karmically to round this cycle out, let it occur!” If you are ready to leave 2017 (and its baggage) behind and to only take the lessons and blessings forward with you into 2018, this prayer is for you! 2018 brings new chapters and new chances; make the most of it! The best is yet to come!  ... read more

Let expectation motivate you (not constrain you)

I once read that expectation is the root of all evil…or all heartache…or something like that… I can’t quite remember the exact quote or who said it. And to some extent I agree with him/her. Expectation can lead to disappointment when things don’t turn out how we thought/hoped they would. But I think not having any expectation means also not having any goal, desire or purpose. And that just doesn’t seem like how we are meant to live. (Although perhaps the proper word for that then is intention, not expectation.) I know I’ve had expectations of myself, as well as others, many times over the years. Sometimes my expectations were met, and sometimes they weren’t. Sometimes things went horribly wrong, and sometimes what happened was so much better than I ever could have planned. I think if you are able to ride the wave and not be too set in your expectations, you will do just fine. But trying to control and predict life is a frustrating (losing) battle. When expectations aren’t met, it can still be a positive! It becomes a learning opportunity – a way of gaining knowledge through life experience. When expectations are exceeded, we get blessed by The Universe with a nice surprise. Many times when I’ve had expectations of someone – whether at work, a friend or in a relationship, I’ve been accused of being too demanding or too controlling or just not as nice as I could be. But here’s the deal… If I am asking you (gently nudging or even pushing you) to do more than you think I should, it’s because... read more

Reflections: do you like what you see?

I’ve had so many thoughts in my head lately for blog posts, and there’s one I keep coming back to over and over… I keep hearing the words of someone at a workshop I recently attended: “Watch the reflections.” Reflections are everywhere in our world. What we see in others is in us – the good and the bad. You wouldn’t recognize it otherwise. Sometimes it mirrors back to us the qualities we want to be – loving, kind, confident, happy. Other times, what we see isn’t what we like – jealousy, anger, arrogance, insecurity. Often when we see something we don’t like, we use it as a way to judge another person. Deep down, however, there is a part of us that is like that person. So, instead, we can use this judgement as an opportunity to go within and learn more about ourselves. Every person and situation that has been in your life has been there to help you grow (spiritually) whether you realize it or not. You can point fingers and lay blame, but your soul made a contract with their soul to share this experience in this lifetime. As I always say, sometimes someone has to be the bad guy (or gal). But it is hard to see this in the heat of the moment. Your ego wants someone to be ‘right’ and someone to be ‘wrong’. I’m not saying that people don’t do bad things that we wish they wouldn’t do. However, we always have a choice in how we deal with what happens. Since everything externally is a reflection of what’s going on internally, it can... read more

You are what you think!

Thoughts are things – very big things. They can make you- or break you. If you believe you can do something, you are likely to achieve it. Likewise, the opposite is true. (If you believe you can’t, you won’t.) A lack of belief in yourself or your ability or in what you are capable of having can create your reality. These beliefs might sound like: “It’s not possible to have a job I love AND make great money.”, “There are no good men (or women) left. I’ll never have the kind of romantic relationship I want.”, “It costs a lot of money to eat healthy.”, “I can’t afford to go on a big vacation.” This is the lack mindset, and these thoughts carry a very low vibration (energetically). We do not attract the good stuff when we are in a low vibrational state. This means we don’t attract what we want – we attract what we are (which is often what we actually don’t want). So, see if you can bend those beliefs just a little… “It IS possible to have a job I love AND make great money.”, “There are good men (and women) everywhere. I am looking forward to meeting them.”, “It costs a lot of money to be sick.”, “I can start saving for a big vacation.” There, don’t those thoughts FEEL better?! Now, look for examples (or proof) of how these better feeling are really true (i.e. people you know of who have been successful in these areas or small ways to move toward your goals). (The brain can focus on the negative or the positive,... read more

Don’t shush me!

Someone gave me shit recently for speaking my mind. I suppose maybe they took what I was saying personally. Here’s something I know for sure: if someone says something about you (to you or to anyone else), it doesn’t really say anything about you – it’s actually about what is going on with them. Here’s something else I know for sure: I will never stop sharing my truth. I’m not sorry about my opinions, and I’m not sorry for using my voice. If you don’t like what I say, that’s totally ok; everyone is different! But don’t think for one second that you can demand me to be quiet. I will never intentionally try to hurt someone – including me. I cannot be a version of me that betrays myself while trying to please others. And you shouldn’t be either. Love yourself, live out loud, and let your unique light shine. If people can’t handle your brightness, instead of asking you to dim, they can go out and buy sunglasses.    ... read more

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